Well, my second marriage has outlasted my first, and we have five children.
As far as the adultery goes? Ain't nothin like the real thing, baby.
Honestly, your situation is what the issue is.
Your second marriage is (forgive me for assuming) stable and you have five children. For you to leave that second marriage for your first wife would be (again forgive me for assuming) rather horrific at this point. Not just for you and your wife, but the children involved.
So how does a church and/or pastor handle that? In the Catholic church they typically do the annulment thing, in most non Catholic churches they ignore it.
Now there have been instances where people say the Kennedy's for example have been allowed annulments and they should not have been allowed. BUT.... their bad behavior and the Cardinal that let it happen are not justification for the rest of us not following the "rules".
Most priests would strongly advise you not even to date until you have an annulment. But people being people and passion being passion, cause a dilemma for the priest and parishioner a like. So we don't kick people for divorcing and remarrying. Just as we don't kick people out who are living in sin.
But the Eucharist is not a prize. It's a sacrament. Catholics know from an early age what you should do to be prepared for sacraments.
Now I heard in a discussion once that if a person adamantly believes something, say that they should be married for the second time for example, then if they are willing to stand naked before God some day and defend that, then conscience dictates that is what that person should do. But a priest is going to counsel against that, because that is his job and he will be called to account for what he did on earth someday as well. I have never seen a priest flat out refuse the Eucharist to an individual. Now with 2.1 billion people I am sure it's happened, I have just never seen it.