I am divorced but chose not to remarry. I knew I was making a mistake when I married but did it all the same. I took vows in the presence of God and continue to respect those vows. Several catholic priests, knowing the circumstances behind the divorce, recommended an annulment. I chose to follow my own conscience.
On the contrary, it's not about meanness, it's about protecting our souls. I think to many people think they have to go to Communion and that the collective "we" have become far to casual in partaking of the Eucharist. I used to tell my Confirmation classes we are not lining up for a bag of popcorn. Pay attention to what you are doing. Otherwise you might as well not go up there or just get the blessing. That works as well. But I could pick nits all day. I better be careful. I am not without sin.
<<<<< I chose to follow my own conscience.>>>>>
I believe that is the best guide in a case where the damage has already been done.