The absurdity of the idea can be seen when you consider all that is known about (the human) Jesus Christ. Jesus wasn’t just famous after he died. He was a renowned celebrity of sorts (to compare to today). He was considered a divisive figure (mostly by the High Priests and Religious/Political Leaders. Jesus was an activist. He fought for the meek, humble and ostracized. His existence and biography was recorded historically in more than just the bible.
That he intervened in Mary’s (prostitute) stoning was BIG news. I would think that a secret wife of Jesus would have come out.
That said, Jesus had siblings. What happened to them? Where are the distant removed cousins of Christ?
He was a rabbi that followed the letter of the Torah as well as in the Spirit of it. He tried to get all of Israel to do the same which resulted in him being described as you have said.
At least 500!
“After that, [Jesus] appeared to more than five hundred brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep." 1 Cor. 15:6 Because of the Bible’s broad semantic use of “brother,” we can be confident that Mary did not give birth to more than 500 children.
Also, look at Genesis 13:8. The word brother is being used to describe the relationship between Abraham and Lot, who were not biological brothers but uncle and nephew: “So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers” (Gen 13:8).
The term 'brother' as used in the Bible has a broader meaning than uterine brothers. It can mean a biological brother, but it can also mean an extended relative, or even a spiritual brother.
In the Bible, these 'brothers' of Jesus are never once called the children of Mary. Only Jesus himself is called the child of Mary.