I’ll latch onto your quest of God and His love in Christ! I have issues with some of the things you’ve written, but there are bigger fish to fry (and that fish is probably me!).
“bigger fish to fry....and that fish is probably me!”
Don’t worry about the frying pan.... one of the attributes of the Holy Spirit in you is that the flames will not harm you.... It will only burn the weeds.
Many people don’t realize that according to the Roman court records, Polycarp was being tried as a pagan for not following the Roman religion. They tried burning him at the stake and the flames did not harm him. They had to pull him from the fire and stabbed him to kill him.
“When the pile was ready Polycarp proceeded to undress himself; and here the story has an autoptic touch, telling how the Christians marked the old man’s embarrassment as he tried to take off his shoes, it having been many years since the reverence of his disciples had permitted him to perform that office for himself. When he had been bound (at his own request, not nailed) to the stake, and had offered up a final prayer, the pile was lit, but the flame bellied out under the wind like the sail of a ship, behind which the body could be seen, scorched but not consumed......Seeing that the flame was dying out, an executioner was sent in to use the sword, when so much blood gushed forth that the flame was nearly extinguished.”
http://www.ccel.org/ccel/wace/biodict.html?term=Polycarpus,%20bishop%20of%20Smyrna
Blessings