I’m sorry your husband is gone, I lost a great grandfather not long ago, it’s not the same as a husband obviously, but I loved him very much. I’ll see him one day again.
The trouble with your definition of prayer is that it’s not biblical. Praying for one who’s gone won’t have an affect, whatever has happened has already happened. We need to focus our efforts on praying for the living that they may be saved.
1. Catholics do believe that the Bible is a source of information, but not the only source of information. There are two others.
**There is Apostolic tradition. You can look that up on the website "Catholic Answers." Just a suggestion.
***Also the Pope can speak authoritatively "from the Chair" or ex cathedra on issues of faith AND morality: i.e.: abortion is a sin.
Ex cathedra: The term ex cathedra, meaning "from the throne", is used to designate official pronouncements of the pope intended for a world audience. As a throne or armchair symbolizes the power to teach, the cathedra in this case refers to the teaching authority over the whole church rather than to a chair. According to Catholic dogma, the pope's statements ex cathedra are infallible in matters of faith and morals. In Anglican episcopal governance, episcopal teaching is conditioned by synodical governance, and so bishops cannot be said to speak ex cathedra in this way (although they may jocularly be said to do so).
Also, I go the definition of prayer from Catholic Answers. It's what the Catholic Church tells us Catholics about prayer. We have ALWAYS prayed for our deceased. Always. I don't ever remember NOT praying for them. It has been so much a part of our tradition that I thought it was yet another part the Protestant faiths got from the Church. I am not saying that in a deprecating way, just in an informational way.
2. Also we are taught that praying for the deceased may be of help. Souls may not go immediately to heaven. Some need to be purged of their minor sins. To be purged they go to a place to be purged of those minor sins. Catholics call it "purgatory." Apparently your faith does NOT teach that either.
3. Focusing on the living is good too. This IS our chance to do good and be good.