If they are born that way, how do you explain a man who grows up and marries, has several children, and then at 50 years old says he is gay, leaves his wife and children and goes prancing off? It is definitely a choice!
Can be born with the defect or not. But engaging in the behavior is ALWAYS a choice.
Thats an edge case. I did not say ALL. However I would explain your example very simply — that person was born bi-sexual or was gay all along and tried to live straight because t was more acceptable.
Most gays know they are gay in their teens. That was the case for every gay I have known. In most cases it is not just a “choice”. That’s BS. There is no way I could just choose to be gay. I am hard-wired straight. Almost impossible to change that in most people.
I've seen the reverse, as well; although it usually happens younger than 50, but not always. Some people who lived the lifestyle wake up one day and start the process of leaving it behind. The reasons are as individual as the individuals who do so. What I do think is fairly common in this group is a reluctance to disclose it, unlike the "out and proud" group. And the gay lobby, again, has made every effort to demonize, deny, accuse and suppress these people.