I believe God will forgive ANY sin. I believe He forgives us even when we don’t deserve to be forgiven. I believe He forgives us even when we don’t know he does. I believe He has forgiven me for things I haven’t even done yet. I think confession is not necessarily where we are forgiven, but where God lets us know we are forgiven. I also believe He is offended and hurt when we try rationalize sinful behavior by ignoring His teachings and saying, “I know God’s law says this is a sin, but I don’t think it is, and I know better, so not only will I continue to do it, I will try to convince everybody it is not a sin so I won’t feel guilty about doing it.”
I do believe some sins are worse than others, and in my opinion, non-sacramental marriage is not even in the same galaxy as ‘homosexual marriage’. But to Catholics it is still a serious sin. And being Catholic I try to avoid the big ones whenever possible, but of course, like everyone, I fail all too often. I think it is dangerous to say “that should not be a sin”, especially about the ones that are literally written in stone.
Non-Catholics are not required to believe that non-sacramental marriages are ‘living in sin’. Catholics are, or else they are Pelosi Catholics who pick and choose which sins they will agree with God about(which means not really Catholic). Catholics are not required to never sin...thank God. What we should do, is acknowledge when we stray from our Church’s teachings and try to get ourselves back on track, because we believe the Catholic Church’s teachings are God’s teachings. Could other churches’ teachings also get you to heaven? Of course.
As far as the Catholic Church’s solution to the problem of civil divorce, you can either try to get an annulment, or you just don’t get married again. If your first marriage was valid and sacramental, that cannot be undone. Your only other option is to remain unmarried or if already remarried live ‘as brother and sister’ in order to keep a family together. That is the perfect solution to an imperfect situation. Of course in the real world, things are rarely perfect. Will God understand if someone remarries outside the church? I think so. I think one big flaw in this whole situation is mentioned in the article. People are entering into non-valid marriages, and the priests and pre-Cana/etc are not working to prevent these mistakes from being made, because no one wants to counsel people NOT to get married. And the annulment process is also flawed, being cumbersome and difficult. Not that it should be easy, but some things are obvious, such as when a spouse is abusive or leaves and re-marries.
One of our parish priests always says “baby steps”. If you can’t say you are truly sorry for something that is defined by the Church as a sin, and you know you are going to keep doing it, then at least acknowledge that it is a sin and pray that you might one day be at least a little bit sorry that your actions may have offended God. Don’t redefine the sin to fit your desires...that is, I think, a much worse sin.
And like I said earlier, this all comes from a Catholic point of view. Other religions don’t have these restrictions, and I don’t think anyone here is trying to impose Catholic doctrine on non-Catholics, this is just a clarification of Catholic teaching on marriage as it pertains to Catholics. I don’t believe the Catholic Church thinks all non-Catholics go to hell...I certainly don’t. But I do believe this country is headed down that road, and not in a small part because people are trying to eliminate the idea that sin even exists.
And I am by no means an expert on Catholic teachings, I just try to follow them, and I’ve had some experience with some of this.
Love,
O2
And I didn't say such. I said it is sometimes necessary and the best answer. Funny thing is two Nuns and a Priest whom we knew {Priest was a hospital Chaplain} thought the same thing. For that matter they were at the wedding. Oh the devil himself tried to stop it and if not for a Nuns wise advice about my wife's dad it may not have happened. He wanted her put away as in nursing home and her kids in foster care. He was also buddy buddy with her abusive EX. The Nun saw all she needed to see when her Ex came to the hospital to as he so kindly put it watch the B**** die. What church laws cover this? Brother and sister? I don't think so.
You have to look at the fruits which come of things. Case in point what King David to his friend did was evil. How righteous was David? Yet David found favor and forgiveness in GOD's eye. Solomon the wisest man to live did what?
Sometimes churches, Priest, Preachers, etc do not have the right answers and one must pray and act in faith.
Our Preacher didn't tell us not to get married nor did he advise us not to. He saw needs being met well beyond just me and her. He definitely asked us about the spiritual aspects of our relationship. He knew her Ex also. He wasn't a liberal by any means. Missionary Baptist are quite conservative. He was a pew walking spirit filled old country preacher.
In our situation I have clear conscience and I know real well GOD's hand was in it even before my first wife drew her last breath and I would meet my wife now afterward from circumstances that had me taking a job transfer to another part of town. I took that job after her death a few weeks after I had gone back to work.
We'd known each other a few months when we were to meet and with her kids with her see a movie and she collapsed.
During her first week of what was a 6 month hospital stay two preachers from a church she had went to laid hands on her for healing. What happened next is difficult to describe. A presence and a peace came over me unlike any I have felt before or since. From that came a voice though not audible saying "It's going to be OK". We took it initially the wrong way only me and her knew about it as I didn't tell anyone for quite some time about what happened. We thought well she will walk again. Then came planning and decision making time for her care and the kids future. Legally as a boyfriend I had no say. Also I was dealing with the fact I loved her and she loved me. What would have been maybe a year or two down the road relationship into marriage or a life long friendship was becoming more serious and choices had to be made.
I think we made the right one. She has been real good too me and real good for me. Our circumstance lead us into a GOD dependency we may not have otherwise had. Don't get me wrong. I loved my first wife as deep as I do my wife now. But GOD called her home one morning without warning. Even if we had met neither one of us would have entered into a relationship because I was married. Events started unfolding that put me with my wife now that are far beyond happenstance.
It certainly changed me for the better. It brought me to a much deeper relationship with The Lord. No it was not easy especially the first year. We had to overcome a lot and GOD helped us to do so. But she would have been there for me and I know that beyond all doubt. Ignorance and prejudices create some church doctrines cruelest laws. I'm just using your church as an example on this issue. Had we been Catholic and first time married we would have been allow to marry even with her quadriplegia. Had I been the quad? No. Why? Because of the churches rules for validating the marriage. It's insane. A Priest or a Nun can take a vow of celibacy and it be called good but a woman in the church can not marry a man who can not fulfill a sex act? Who writes this stuff? LOL
Her rehab doctor whom we met a month after we married asked us how long we had been married. We said one month and he said good that's a relief. He explained it like this. Many marriages where one spouse or the other becomes seriously disabled has a high chance for failure simple because the other spouse can not accept the others disability and limitations. They want the old spouse and expect the spouse to be as before. Couples dealing with disabilities after the fact and marry have a stronger chance because acceptance of the others limitations has already happened.
So I have no blood kids of my own no big deal. It was possible yes but medically very unadviseable due to her medications and her general health. So I opted out of fatherhood as far as offspring goes. Again a sin in some churches.
However I have two daughters I helped raise from pre-teen to adulthood. They had a needed father figure in a critical time in their life.
GOD does things we can not begin to understand why at the time. GOD wasn't done with me either. About nine years into our marriage my own health took a disabling turn. I was left with my physical strength intact. Mentally was another story. My Sensory Processing System became dysfunctional. On bad days even at home I have some seizure activity in my upper Torso. My ability to concentrate is nil when it starts. My wife has great concentration. My weakness is her strength and my strength is her weakness. Together we function. GOD knew before I was born this would happen. We do have freewill but GOD knows past, present, and future of all.
I can not think of a better match either one of us could have had for this than each other. All of us will fail at things in life. All of us sin. It only takes one sin even the least of them to condemn you to hell in the hereafter. It only takes faith and acceptance that Christ died for our sins and we receive GOD's free to us Grace through faith to save our souls. That is the most important choice we face in this world. That one we must do or else. Not doing that is the sin that leaves one condemned. No one has walked a perfect walk but Christ.
You don't judge an entire picture by a square inch of it. You step back and look at the entire work.