I was never a convert to Orthodoxy nor a member of an Orthodox parish but went to both the Orthodox and Catholic LIturgies every week for 10 years. (Due to the happy availability of the Catholic Saturday Vigil Mass!) Anyhow, the two divorces/remarriages I observed in the Orthodox Church were both illustrations of the saying,
"If you can't be a good example,
you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
Here's the story... (Nope, delete) I just erased a bunch of anecdote. Suffice it to say, I saw families ripped up and torn to pieces because of wives who wheedled their way into Orthodox-Church-approved divorces, described to me as "merciful" applications of "oeconomia."
In once case in particular, the wife finally fell back into reality, regretting what she'd done and wishing sorely that she had kept her old disappointing husband (who was actually a very decent guy) and her marriage intact.
The suffering she inflicted on her family through that "merciful" divorce was immeasurable.
I think she would not have done it, if her pastor had given her a flat "No."
Interesting. Thank you for sharing Mrs. DonO. It is good to get the woman’s perspective on this - I have not often heard a woman preferring justice to mercy. Most would rather ‘keep their own options open’ than say what you have said here.
Did the ex ever get into why she found her old husband disappointing, or is that better left to a private message?
Divorce may seem to resolve one problem but, like a stone dropped into a pond, the ripple effect impacts everyone. Couples need to consider their vows and take them seriously. When they stand in the presence of God and vow to take each other: "For better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death they do part", is most serious. Just as the Ten Commandments are not suggestions or recommendations, those vows spoken before God, are equally as serious. It's always easy to find an "out clause" when problems surface; the greater challenge is to make the marriage work, from the beginning.