“We’ve long called what you are partaking in is Protestant Emotionalism.”
You might also add to your reading list the Hebrew Scriptures and especially Ecclesiastes.
A portion of Ecclesiastes was read as the OT reading for my church’s Sunday worship about “vanity”.
After a very difficult year that I had, from July 2012 to July/August 2013, that whole book of Ecclesiaiastes was for me, all was woven in a song which spoke of my life this past year. Done by the late Johnny Cash before he passed on a number of years back, and done by the heavy metal rock band, NIN, but Cash’s was the better version.
The song was called “Hurt”.