Regarding God visiting the iniquity of the father on the following 3-4 generations:
What aspect(s) of iniquity of the father are visited on the son? You understand it to be the guilt and/or punishment of iniquity. The Jews misunderstood it the same as you. And that's why God specifically revealed they (and you) were wrong.
Read Ezekiel 18:19-32. A bit long to post all here, but a significant excerpt from the outset:
"Yet say ye, Why? doth not the son bear the iniquity of the father? When the son hath done that which is lawful and right, and hath kept all my statutes, and hath done them, he shall surely live. The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him."
The Lord told them (and us) that the concept of the son inheriting the guiltiness of the father is not,/i> true. The sons do not bear the guilt and punishment of the fathers' iniquity.
So then, what about iniquity is visited on the next generations? It seems the only option left is the physical consequences of that iniquity: national/familial degradation, removal of God's protective providence. We see that played out over and over in history, as revealed in OT & NT scripture.
You miss-read my mind lol. I do not think it is a punishment from God. I think is a consequence of our actions. God is warning us because He is omnipresent and sees the results.
If we live a life that pleases God, our children and their children will be more likely to live a life that pleases God.
If I live a sinful life, it is more likely my children and their children will live a sinful life.
God judges us on our actions only, which is what the scripture you posted states.
I sin, therefore the sin nature is passed to my grandchildren and their children.
May God our father lead us to His truth.