Revelation 3:20 is one of the most abused verses in all of the Bible and it does not mean what your post implied.
Jesus does not knock at the heart’s door of sinners. He never has, and He never will. When He wants to save a man, He calls him to eternal life by His life-giving voice (John 5:25). Sinners can no more resist than did Lazarus (John 11:43-44) or will all dead bodies in the last day (John 5:28-29). If He merely asked sinners to open their doors, no man would be saved (Ps 14:1-3; Rom 3:9- 18). He forcibly and sovereignly regenerates sinners by His own power (John 1:13; 3:8; 5:21). The great God does not ask or beg sinners to cooperate with Him: He raises them from spiritual death with the same resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead (Eph 1:19-20; 2:1).
The words in this verse are for the church at Laodicea, not sinners in general (Rev 3:14-22). The words were for those with ears to hear, not those needing ears (John 8:43,47). This section of Revelation has the words of Jesus Christ to the pastors of seven churches of Asia. The church of the Laodiceans was self-confident and self-righteous. Jesus rebuked them for their lukewarm condition and haughty spirit, and He described them as being spiritually wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked! They needed a personal relationship with Him for true spiritual riches.
The benefit offered by Jesus in the verse is fellowship, not salvation from hell. The Lord Jesus Christ offered the members of this church His personal presence for spiritual communion and fellowship, not regeneration or justification. These saints were already saved from hell as much as they could be; but they were living a miserable existence without a personal relationship with Christ. This offer was the fellowship and joy that John described elsewhere (I John 1:1-10).
And for the record, not all Southern Baptists like to “invite Jesus into our hearts.”
God has chosen the willing. He has not willed the chosen. When Paul asked “who has resisted His will?” He was not making an argument for that statement, he was rather pointing out the foolishness of that view. Many resist His will. Sin is against His will. Christ taught to pray Thy will be done... because it isn’t currently.
Paul warned not to receive the grace of God in vain. He said he did not frustrate the grace of God. And Hebrews warns of the possibility of our failing in relation to God’s grace.
Our participation by receiving grace does not constitute earning or working for grace or the gift of salvation. Receiving means receiving. When someone gives a gift you can receive it or reject it. Some receive Christ. Some receive Him not.
What Calvinists and non-Calvinists can agree on is Christ’s death is sufficient for all but only efficient for the elect. Anyone who enters Heaven will give God 100 percent of the credit, and anyone who goes to hell must accept 100 percent of the blame.