Predestination is where we naturally land when trying to understand the verses you’ve mentioned because we can’t fathom that concept any other way - but predestination cannot be the case. Perhaps being not limited by time it was known whether we would make the choice or not before we made it. It was still our choice to make, however.
That’s the old foreknowledge versus predestination debate. There was and is foreknowledge, that is unavoidable by any honest reader of scripture. Predestination is an extension of foreknowledge that may or may not have an element of truth. It’s a belief derived from scripture elevated to doctrine by some, whereas foreknowledge is scriptural fact not in dispute.
I’ve got family on both sides of that one and have heard it all my life. I don’t like some of the implications of predestination and am much more disposed to free will. But, due to there being some apparent scriptural support for predestination, I won’t argue against it though my heart says otherwise as do other passages of scripture.
Any apparent contradiction is due to faulty understanding on our part, imho.
“It was still our choice to make, however.”
No, it is GOD’S choice:
Joh_15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
They are not ordained BECAUSE they would believe. They believe BECAUSE they are ordained:
Act_13:48 And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.
And those who believe not, believe not BECAUSE they are not of His sheep, and can receive nothing unless it is given to them by the Father first:
Joh 10:26-30 But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. (27) My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: (28) And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. (29) My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. (30) I and my Father are one.
Joh 6:64-65 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. (65) And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.
Mat_16:17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.
In each of these cases, it is DIVINE REVELATION that is required for a person to even KNOW the things of God. And without the CALLING of God, no one is saved.
1Co_12:3 Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.