You may want to take a closer look at the spiritual life of Puritan congregations in England, Scotland, and New England during the 1600s and the first half of the 1700s, as well as what today is known as the “experiential Calvinist” wing of Reformed churches.
Reformed churches which place a strong emphasis on personal conversion typically have significant numbers of people who are in serious angst over whether or not they are saved.
Reformed doctrine begins with total depravity. It doesn't end there — after all, if it did, then nobody could ever be saved because our sin is so great that it requires unconditional election for anyone to be saved — but Calvinism certainly in history has produced a great deal of personal despair.
Some of us would consider personal awareness of our own personal sin to be a very important thing. Assurance of salvation does exist, but it certainly is not to be presumed or assumed.
A Calvinist who acts as if total depravity describes only other people may be a Calvinist in his head, but he is a Pelagian in his heart.
Beautifully stated.