It is late where I am but I understand your style of questioning. I once left the Catholic Church and came back. I talked to my mother at the time when she was alive almost the same things you bring up. I do not have the time right now to go into all of it. But I do appreciate your honest words.
One of the basics you have to remember is the Word "Pray" confuses people about Catholics. The word first meant and always means a "beseeching."
Popular culture( meaning as time progressed through the centuries) has brought to it to think of only to use in a sense towards God only. When you realize this is not true that is where the "scales" will fall.
It is first and foremost a "beseeching" to an individual man or Deity. The Dictionary will define two basic meanings.
pray 1. to offer devout petition, praise, thanks, etc., to (God or an object of worship).
2. to offer (a prayer).
3. to bring, put, etc., by praying: to pray a soul into heaven. 4.
to make earnest petition to (a person).
5. to make petition or entreaty for; crave: She prayed his forgiveness.
World English Dictionary
pray (preɪ)
vb (when intr, often foll by for; when tr, usually takes a clause as object )
1. to utter prayers (to God or other object of worship): we prayed to God for the sick child
2. ( when tr, usually takes a clause as object or an infinitive ) to make an earnest entreaty (to or for); beg or implore: she prayed to be allowed to go ; leave, I pray you
3. rare ( tr ) to accomplish or bring by praying: to pray a soul into the kingdom
interj 4. archaic I beg you; please: pray, leave us alone
[C13: from Old French preier, from Latin precārī to implore, from prex an entreaty; related to Old English fricgan, Old High German frāgēn to ask, Old Norse fregna to enquire]
When we pray to Mary we are beseeching her for pray to God for us just like if we ask a relative or neighbor. Then when we believe we had answer we will declare to the person. Thank you for "saving me."
It does not mean they did it except by his or her intercession. Meaning as person/soul praying by asking God we got an answer.
The veil has been torn. You have direct access to to the Creator in your prayer life- why do you need an exchange to redirect it?
The word "pray" in its original and most authentic sense, is only encountered in 3 places in America today:
If anyone in fact adored a civil court; or a would-be lover; or Mary and the other saints, it would in fact be idolatry. But we don't. We do not adore anyone except the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. To the Holy Trinity be glory forever, Amen.