The fundamental problem with reform theology in general and Calvinism in particular is that there is little room for the concept of a loving God, and that fundamental moral transformations in individuals are probably not possible at best and futile at worst.
As the original post mentioned, we look at it from the other way around: we are all depraved and worthy of condemnation. All. It is only by virtue of a loving God that some of us can be declared righteous (by Christ's work) and rescued from that fate. It's the stark contrast between Jeremiah 17:9 and John 3:16. The hate comes from US - not from God: Romans 8:6-8.
"...fundamental moral transformations in individuals are probably not possible at best and futile at worst."
Not without a fundamental transformation enabled by God, no.
Hmmmm...I find that to be an odd statement.
On the Reformed side is a God who reveals Himself to us, cares for us and watches over us; wanting us to feast with Him at His wedding feast. There are those who don't wish to submit to His will and He will execute His judgment on them. But these vessels of wrath would rather "reign in hell than serve in heaven". God will give them what is due them.
On the reverse side, is a God who will grant those who make the right choice and live a life dedicated to Him to come join Him in heaven. Those who reject His calling will be throw into eternal torment for all eternity for making a poor choice within their limited life span.
Now which seems more loving?