That has been my experience as well. I always went to good "bible believing" churches that gave good teachings. Many of them utilized Calvinist books like MacArthur, Sproul, Spurgeon, Piper in their bible studies. Some of the best commentaries that I often referred to are people like Matthew Henry or John Gill.
They basically avoid the subject as much as possible, but then that leaves the congregation more or less in the dark as to what the passages in John and Ephesians and Romans etc. mean.
As you recall, when I first came on this forum I was a fire-breathing Calvin hater. I have to thank people like you and blue Duncan (has anyone heard from him lately) and Dr. E for lovingly teaching me and helping me to realize that what I was railing against were not the Doctrines of Grace but what I thought the doctrines of grace were. I used every straw man argument that Spurgeon talks about in his expository sermon that I posted earlier.
Have I come around completely? Probably not enough to qualify for ministry at an OPC church, but I believe that I am currently more Reformed than many, if not all, of the liberalized Reformation Churches which appear to have abandoned sound doctrine for doctrines of demons.
Thank you guys for helping me to see past my prejudices and seeing the Doctrines of Grace in the true light of scripture and the true light of understanding. I'm sure you guys still think I have a long way to go. Keep working. I have learned so much from these discussions over the years.
It is interesting that now I find myself arguing against the very same straw man arguments I made over the years.
Growing in Grace.