Pentagon Spends $100,000 to Find Out: ‘Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?’

Christian News Network ^ | November 16, 2012 | Heather Clark

[Alex Murphy]

An Oklahoma senator has released a report outlining what he believes is some of the Pentagon’s most wasteful spending. Among a number of odd items includes a workshop on how Christianity would be affected if aliens were proven to exist.

Senator Tom Coburn is known to be the “waste-watcher” on Capitol Hill, as he investigates unnecessary spending in various branches of the government. On Thursday, he issued what some consider to be a laughable list of Defense Department expenditures that have nothing to do with defense.

In addition to $1.5 billion being spent on a plan to invent roll-up beef jerky, an iPhone app that helps people schedule their coffee breaks and scientific research on the swimming patterns of goldfish, was a workshop blending Christianity with the existence of aliens.

The event, entitled “Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,” focused on “the implications for Christianity if intelligent life were to be found on other planets.” According to the Global Post, actors such as LeVar Burton and Nichelle Nichols were present, and an “intergalactic gala celebration” was included, at which attendees were urged to don “starship cocktail attire.”

Klingons are are a group of aliens from the fictional sci-fi television and movie series Star Trek, which originated in 1966 and continues (at least in movie format) to present day. The series deals with a band of aliens and humans that seek to solve the problems of the universe, tackling topics such as imperialism, class warfare and racism. Some episodes are also said to have addressed sexism, feminism and religion.

Coburn issued a statement along with the list, asserting that the Pentagon needs to cut non-defense expenditures such as these.

“The American people expect the Pentagon’s $600 billion annual budget to go toward our nation’s defense,” he said. “That isn’t happening. Billions of defense dollars are being spent on programs and missions that have little or nothing to do with national security, or are already being performed by other government agencies.”

He stated that if these expenditures are not cut, the Pentagon will continue spending billions of American taxpayer dollars on frivolous items. He said that the approximately $37 billion that will be spent over the next ten years on support and supply services could be better handled in the private sector. Coburn also commented that the Department of Defense has become the “Department of Everything,” as it even helps to run grocery stores across the country.

“The DoD budget is aligned to strategic priorities we have identified to keep America safe and maintain the strongest military in the world,” Pentagon spokesperson Lt. Col. Elizabeth Robbins told reporters with NBC today in a written statement. “Over the past several years we have redoubled our efforts to make better use of the taxpayer’s defense dollar and meet our fiscal responsibilities.”

Coburn doesn’t think so. He says that the country could save at least $69 billion over the next decade if the Defense Department would simply stick to defense.

While Coburn’s report outlines that the government is proceeding with its plans for the roll-up jerky, as “a variety of flavors are being developed, including salami, chipotle, turkey, pork and smoked ham,” it is not known whether it came to a conclusion by the end of its workshop as to how Jesus’ death would apply to aliens if they indeed exist.

[Alex Murphy]

In addition to $1.5 billion being spent on a plan to invent roll-up beef jerky, an iPhone app that helps people schedule their coffee breaks and scientific research on the swimming patterns of goldfish, was a workshop blending Christianity with the existence of aliens.

The event, entitled “Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,” focused on “the implications for Christianity if intelligent life were to be found on other planets.” According to the Global Post, actors such as LeVar Burton and Nichelle Nichols were present, and an “intergalactic gala celebration” was included, at which attendees were urged to don “starship cocktail attire”....

....While Coburn’s report outlines that the government is proceeding with its plans for the roll-up jerky, as “a variety of flavors are being developed, including salami, chipotle, turkey, pork and smoked ham,” it is not known whether it came to a conclusion by the end of its workshop as to how Jesus’ death would apply to aliens if they indeed exist.

The Klingon Rite of Ascension requires that the initiate walk between two rows of warriors armed with pain sticks. This is sometimes called The Way of Blood. It is a test of a warrior's commitment and courage. Christ satisfied this requirement and much, much more. And this act was no punishment for a criminal, as the Romans intended, nor was it a rite that had only a symbolic meaning. Christ did not run from this pain; he welcomed it. His sacrifice was an act of will. In this crucifixion, Christ defeated his enemies. And this is what makes him a suitable savior for the Klingon as well as the human and all races.
-- from the 2009 thread Klingons for Christ

[teflon9]

The event, entitled “Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,”

---

Whoever thought of that event needs to get out of his mom’s basement, pronto!

[Carriage Hill]

...don “starship cocktail attire”...

I really don’t want/need to know anything further, thankyouverymuch.

[Wyrd bið ful aræd]

Did they manage to invent roll up beef jerky?

[Carriage Hill]

Fruit-flavored, no less.

[annieokie]

The event, entitled “Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,”""".......

Well, Yes as a matter of fact HE did, but the Democrats refused him 3 times.....and still counting.

[Carriage Hill]

Bet you could have done this study for only $50k Ping.

[faithhopecharity]

Now that we know about this, you can bet the MuslimBrotherInChief will put an end to it. Can’t have anything that even remotely appears to acknowledge or support Christianity, after all...

[CrazyIvan]

This could be an interresting conversation between Sheldon Cooper and his mother.

[Wyrd bið ful aræd]

[Berlin_Freeper]

While or military is trying to settle this question - the space aliens are out there planning how to wipe us out.

[Carriage Hill]

Hi ya, Smiley! Good boy...

[GeronL]

All that money to invent beef jerkey... all they have to do is buy Slim Jim, they could probably have bought the company for that!!

The Jesus thing is crazy... who did this? Can these people be fired?

[cgbg]

If the aliens were trying to wipe us out they would just drop counterfeit cash out of flying saucers and wait for the economy to crash.

[Godzilla]

16 vaD joH'a' vaj loved the qo', vetlh ghaH nobta' Daj wa' je neH puqloD, vetlh 'Iv HartaH Daq ghaH should ghobe' chIlqu', 'ach ghaj eternal yIn.

[ArrogantBustard]

Meanwhile, the Department of Health and Human Services has a $78 Billion budget dedicated wholly to taking money from the productive and giving it to the unproductive.

The Department of Education has a $71 Billion budget dedicated to indoctrinating children in communism and faggotry.

The Environmental Protection Agency has a $8 Billion budget dedicated wholly to harassing productive citizens and corporations.

This is crazy... who did this? Can these people be fired?

[GreyFriar]

At no cost to the DoD: The answer is YES. Jesus died for the redemption of all of us created by God. I figure that God may not have begun or stopped with creating only us. Thus His Son is for all of us, where ever we are in His universe.

[allmendream]

Giordano Bruno, 1548-1600, figured that there must be many more inhabited worlds than this one, and that there must be a pathway to salvation offered up to any that had the intelligence to recieve it - thus many billions of Christs to offer salvation to many billions of worlds. He was burned at the stake for heresy.

[GeronL]

I totally agree, of course

[Alex Murphy]

Giordano Bruno, 1548-1600, figured that there must be many more inhabited worlds than this one, and that there must be a pathway to salvation offered up to any that had the intelligence to recieve it - thus many billions of Christs to offer salvation to many billions of worlds. He was burned at the stake for heresy.

I can think of two things wrong with the above statement.