Posted on 05/04/2012 8:50:12 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
Good article.
Missing component, though, is the grace from the Sacrament of Marriage — a true covenant with God.
My husband and I didn’t live together even one day before we got married. He didn’t even move his stuff into my place until after we got back from our honeymoon.
And we don’t regret it at all. The article is spot on.
No issues with compatibility or any of the other myths.
We dated for one year and were engaged 2 years before we were married. The reason we didn’t live together is that we are both committed Christians, so none of these invented issues that are actually excuses were a problem.
We did, too, and we’re 30 years later, but I have to say — the minute I said “I do” our relationship changed tremendously. I knew it in my bones. And we were just in front of a judge; I couldn’t have done more (thot I was going to die, haha).
What were you going to do if she got pregnant just as you were coming to the conclusion that she was insufferable? Were you thinking of the potential risk to a child of having parents who were not yet married?
‘If’ is for children.
Your question is just as easily asked, “What were you going to do if she got pregnant just as you were coming to the conclusion that she was insufferable after you were married?”
“If” is for people who assess risks.
People need to do much better at getting their heads together before their bodies.
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Excellent article and appropos for people of any faiths. Of course some couples do live together without marriage and wind up marrying happily. But most do not.
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Same here. My wife and moved in together while we were still engaged. It just didn’t make sense for me to extend the lease on my apartment. Despite S&F’s links, at 20+ years we’re still in love, still together, raised children to adulthood, etc. I think he’d have us believe, that those who don’t believe as he does are doomed to a life of misery pain.
RE: I think he’d have us believe, that those who don’t believe as he does are doomed to a life of misery pain.
Again, that’s not what I am saying.
I am simply citing STUDIES that show that those who live together before they are married are MORE LIKELY to be divorced that those who don’t.
Not that I wish it on people. I am simply citing STATISTICAL data.
Using your great marriage as an example (and bless you for that) is akin to showing several examples of women who are taller than men and then on that basis telling me that women are taller on average.
“People need to do much better at getting their heads together before their bodies.”
Ridiculous statement. It assumes living together is about sex and not a mental exercise to determine compatibility. It also assumes two people not living together cannot somehow have sex.
“People need to do much better at getting their heads together before their bodies.”
Ridiculous statement. It assumes living together is about sex and not a mental exercise to determine compatibility. It also assumes two people not living together cannot somehow have sex.
You sound like a prudish pilgrim adverse to sex. Are you sure you have a healthy marriage?
“Of course some couples do live together without marriage and wind up marrying happily. But most do not.”
Most people divorce including those that never lived together, so you only told half the truth when you said that, and half the truth is still a lie.
What is that supposed to mean? BTW it is well known that although (last figure I saw) roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce (and that may have changed), that includes second, third, fourth etc marriages. It is not that out of every couple who marry for the first time, half divorce. So, in order to accurately count divorces, accurate count of how many times people have married must also be done.
I can see you are clinging to your point of view that living together without marriage is benign or good. Or whatever. Cling away, but the facts belie your belief.
Look at how the sixties brought in so much immorality. Look at how Obama and many hippie minded leftist have lost all moral bearings, and look where they have been taking our Nation, down the sewer hole. First came free "love" and shacking up with each other, aborting unwanted children, babies sacrificed on the alter of selfishness. Then came homosexuality being promoted as a great and beneficial life style and now even extended to the promotion of pedophilia. There are now so many women having children without a father being around to help raise them. Many of these children grow up unbalanced mentally, sexually, and spiritually. Who needs a father, when father government is willing to take care of you from cradle to grave. The welfare mentality is passed down from one generation to the next, but the immoral, leftist Democrats get their votes. The fruit of immorality is rotten and increasing exponentially. You are either taking a stand for truth, morality, and all that is good and holy or you have, through a poor example and moral lassitude, caved in, and are a part of the problem.
It is amazing how many people deign to think that they understand and know human nature and what is good better than the God of the Bible. Positively amazing and completely wrong. It's called sin. If wise, people who have had sex outside of marriage, for any reason, will come to the place where they understand that it is sinful and must be repented of. None of us are near perfect, and many of us have sinned grievously in our life times, but that doesn't mean that we should shamelessly say that something that we have done that is sinful is good, just because we think that it worked out OK for us. After all many of the the worst of sinners often, in their own eyes, think that they are just fine. God is willing to forgive anyone who comes to Him with a repented heart, but when we excuse and promote our brand of sin, we are against Him, and all that is good.
I can see that you’re argument is rooted deeply in a bed of religious belief, so I will offer no counter. However, while my faith does wax and wane, I cannot claim to share your belief, hence your argument rings hollow to me. So, I will show you the same respect that I show the adherents and true believers in all religions and proclaim your right to your belief.
What about God? As I look at it, living together outside of marriage shows disrespect to God because He created marriage.
RE: What about God? As I look at it, living together outside of marriage shows disrespect to God because He created marriage.
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That my friend is a problem.
If one takes the Bible seriously, then of course, living together before marriage (and having sex outside of marriage) is WRONG.
Unfortunately, not everyone ( even FReepers ) is a serious Bible-believing Christian. Therefore, they are not likely to be convinced by Bible verses you quote on them.
Their arguments are likely going to be more of this form — “Well, cohabiting before marriage worked for me.”. End of story. Just read some of the responses to this thread and you begin to understand.
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