“Oh, Ben, the Father has already TOLD us what he has decided”
No he has not. I will not know until the day of judgement.
“Have you forgotten everything that Evangelicalism taught you?”
And if I fall? What then?
“It is not presuming when you admit you believe God’s promises.”
I believe in God’s promises to me, that should I profess my love for Christ and obey him, that I will be saved. Of that I am confident.
But I am unsure, not of Christ, but of myself. If I do not obey him, if I turn away from him, then I will not be saved.
“If our salvation was based on how well we merited or earned Heaven or how perfect we could make ourselves so we could be in God’s presence, then no one COULD ever be sure until they faced the judge (God) and He tallied up the “tab”.”
On the contrary, everyone would know. They would fail. That is what Christ teaches us. This is why we cannot save ourselves, because we are sinful creatures that are unworthy of salvation.
Can I look in my heart and confess that I have always loved him as I should? No, I cannot. Is my love for him sufficient? I don’t know, but it is Christ who decides not me.
My job is to keep turning towards him and away from sin. Each day, until that day when I am called before him. Only then will I know my fate.
“Whatever you do - and I’m not saying this to talk you out of being a Catholic - please, do not give up that blessed assurance that says we can KNOW we HAVE eternal life. Don’t stop trusting God to do what he has promised to do.”
It’s not God that I doubt. It’s me. Please understand this. And no, if asked, I do not know what my fate will be. That’s up to God to decide through his grace to forgive me for my sins.
Do you perceive that you could ever stop being a Christian? Is your faith so weak that something could come along to shake loose your belief in Jesus Christ? You say you doubt yourself, so, if I hear what you are saying, it sounds like you have not been wholly convinced that you have a valid reason for trusting in Christ and believing in him. Is that really the case?
Because the way I see it, we surrender to Jesus as the true God incarnate, who died for our sins, so that we can be saved. When we sincerely do that, we are not just left high and dry to worry until the day we die that we have a legitimate faith. God goes to work, essentially, by indwelling us with the Holy Spirit and creating within us a new, spirit nature, that IS in evidence. Those that have accepted Christ, receiving him as Savior, ARE different. There IS a transformation that happens where the old "me" no longer wants the bad, it finds no joy in sin. My new nature yearns to know God and to please him in all I do. When the old sin nature flares up and I do wrong, I notice a break in my fellowship with God, I sense a barrier in my relationship with Jesus. I KNOW that I must repent and confess my sin to God and I KNOW he forgives me, cleanses me and restores that link, that fellowship with him. The more trials and temptations I endure, the stronger my faith grows and the closer I move towards Him - because it IS Him within me, living in grace, working on faith. The "old" me had no such activity before I came to Christ. Doing "wrong" only bothered me when I got caught and got punished. The "new" me desires to please God because of all that he has done for Me and because He IS my God and King. Ephesians 2:10 says he created us "unto" good works that he has prepared for us. Our desire is changed towards Him.
Now, I said all that to demonstrate that this change is EVIDENCE that we are HIS. The very purpose of the indwelling Holy Spirit is so that he is the earnest, or guarantee, of our destination. Scripture says we are "sealed" until the day of redemption. No one breaks the seal but God, we cannot do that because we belong to Him now. If God were to send us to Hell after he gave us His Spirit, He would be sending Himself to hell with us. That ain't gonna happen! The presence of the Spirit within us is evidence of our salvation.
There is nothing we can do to undo our adoption into His family. Even in the parable of the Prodigal Son, even when the guy left the family and took all his money with him, he NEVER stopped being the son of the Father. When he came back, he wasn't repelled, he wasn't put to work as a servant - though he sure deserved it - but he was welcomed home, STILL the son, STILL in the family. Jesus told that story for a reason and I believe it is to show us how deep his love is for us, that he will never cast us away, never lose us, never let ANYONE snatch us from His hands. THAT, my FRiend, is the ONLY way that we can KNOW, right now, that we have everlasting life. When we receive Him, he places His mark on us and He will not lose even one of us. That is the only way and the only reason that I can truthfully say that I know I am saved. It's all because of Him. I sincerely pray that you too can know this blessed assurance.
God HAS already paid the penalty of all our sins. When we are found IN Christ, we have HIS righteousness, not our own, so that is why Jesus said, "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son." (John 3:18) When you accepted Jesus, your sins HAVE been forgiven, even the ones you have yet to commit, and He saves you by grace. That is what grace is - undeserved, unmerited, unearned - all because of His mercy and love. Jesus also said, "All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day." (John 6:37-39) He holds onto us.