[Melas]

I’m not convinced by the men on this thread who claim wonderful relationships that began with cohabitation. I’d like to ask their wives: would you had preferred - i.e., would you feel more respected - if your husband had waited for you until he actually married you? I believe the honest answers to that question would be very revealing.

I got my wife to read this, and got her response. She says that neither of us were virgins, in fact we'd both been married before, so chastity would have have been just weird.

On a personal note, I am grateful I did not cohabit with my wife beforehand, as I she probably would have backed out of marrying me once she saw how imperfect I was (and am). Thankfully, we both believed marriage to be a lifelong commitment, and are now in our 23rd year.

We obviously did live together, and we're just a bit behind you. We have been together 21 years this last December, and we'll have been married for 20 years this June. I don't see a divorce on the horizon.

[tjd1454]

Thanks for your comments. My intent was to uphold the ideal of monogamous marriage as a lifelong commitment - with sexuality as a part of that union. Many strive for that despite earlier mistakes and failures. It is commendable that you did make the commitment to marry, and I wish you many more (hopefully happy) years together.