I realize your list is written in a sarcastic and/or humorous way, but here is a response nevertheless. Most of the laws you quote were civil laws expressly written for and observed by the children of Israel and worked well for maintaining civil order. Some of these laws concerning hygiene were amazing considering they knew nothing about germs at that time. Some sound strange to us because they are taken out of cultural context, such as “if a man sells his daughter as a slave...” Others of these are external forms of laws that were later “written on our hearts and minds” under the new covenant of Jesus Christ. Now our body is the temple and the sacrifice is complete in the cross.
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.”
Now I am a deist not a christian so I don't have a dog in this fight but it appears to me that the christian re-constructionist movement is more correct on this one.