What I find the hardest is, when I succeed in not retaliating and behaving, it causes me to look at my more mature sisters more closely. I know they bite their tongue but it then makes me wonder how much they’re holding back when relating with me. It’s almost like knowing they’re not feeling as loving as they present because I’m not feeling as loving as I present when I’m holding in my negative reactions.
Then I start to wonder if I can trust who they present.
I think the answer is, if you are angry at someone, you need to step back and spend some time with the Lord and truly feel the love for the person you’re having difficulty with. Because holding in anger and acting in a way you don’t really feel isn’t right either.
Is anyone following? Anyone else deal with that?
Jen, you just entered some interesting terriroty there. Sometimes I would rather not know how certain people feel about me. If I feel that I can’t trust them, then I will hold that in the back of my mind before I approach them. That’s where acting comes in. But that’s over time. When this article was written, it was written at a time when I was having some serious anger issues (in that it kept getting to me), and my church wanted me to write a sermon for the Pastor who was on vacation. I thought that that was an excellent time for me to utilize both situations, and then teach from there.
I still have anger issues many times, but I’ve been praying more too. Like for example, just the other day, one of the people I have issues with was nice to me. And I prayed just before work for the Lord to give me the strength needed to handle that person. I know what this person does, how malicious in nature this person is, and I was bubbling up, just by knowing that I was about to work with this person. Just the thought alone got me angry without needing an incident to help trigger it. But I gave it to the Lord, and he went outside of my emotions, outside my “control” and handled it for me. And had I not prayed before going in, who knows what might have happened.
It’s very difficult to feel love for somebody who may be malicious, or discontent, yet in our walk with Christ, if we get closer and closer to him, and have his character traits rub off on us, then we will be more proned to know what he sees, and to not let such pettiness get in the way of our putting on love. Yet it is difficult, and I admit, I do stumble sometimes.