Does this pass the "straight face" test?
ALL: Let's assume many of you have some "bare" details about the Mormon belief system. So let's just run by you the ABCs of the Mormon belief system, and then ask you, "Does this sound like historical Christianity?"
(a) Mormonism believes the godhead are 3 separate gods, and that there's a "mom god" on Kolob...and that her husband was assigned to this planet earth by a "council of gods"...and that you can become a god, too. Does having all these thousands to millions of gods sound like historical Christianity to you?
(b) Mormonism believes you have to learn special handshakes to discern spirits (D&C 129:1-9) and couples are taught to have a special handshake recognizable only to their spouse so that there's no spirit world confusions there. Is that historical Christianity?
(c) Mormons are told to wear special protective underwear. Now do you really think that Jesus' problem in getting nailed to the cross was that He just forgot to wear His proper underwear that day? Is that historical Christianity?
Or consider these Examples of LDS 'Doublespeak' & 'Mormonese definitions of biblical terms'...as you read these, ask yourself, "Is this "historical" Christianity, or "hysterical" christianity, Mormon-style?
10. "Little kids are perfect until age 8. That's why we baptize them at that age...for the remission of sins...that, uh, the sins they, uh, don't have."
9. "Adam & Eve disobeyed God & brought sin into the world. So we celebrate that...as a, you know, as a sort of 'upward fall'...'Cause that brought us parenthood, mortality & potential godhood for us. (Sin pays)"
8. "Your Christian gospel isn't fair. With our Mormon proxy baptism for the dead, people get a second after-life chance...our Mormon gospel IS fair...uh, so long, uh, as we find the birth certificate of, you know, every cave dweller and illiterate peasants from pre-existant, pre-published times."
7. "We don't believe in earthly polygamy, anymore...well, at least, you know, not until jesus returns...at least so says Brother Bruce R. McConkie."
6. "We ex-communicate polygamists. Uh, except for Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Heber C. Kimball, Parley P. Pratt, and others -- including Jesus Christ, who some of our founding apostles said was also a polygamist. (And they're STILL practicing polygamy in the great beyond."
5. "We have a living prophet; pay attention to us 'cause we're the only church that believes in continuing revelation. Uh, except pay no attention to those quotes of our prophets cited by FReeper Inmans! Our 'living prophets' weren't continually 'revelating' when they said those Inman-cited things from the tabernacle."
4. "Christians are apostates. Oh, and we're Christian, too!"
3. "Christians are apostates. (That's why 53% of our Lds hymnal -- 190 of them -- were hymns inspired by those 'apostates'!)"
2. "We are not polytheist. There's only one god. Well, just a lot of 'only one gods.'" [Ejonesie's submission]
1. "Oh, man can become one [a god] too -- just like jesus the son and god himself did at one point. (But there is only one god)." [Ejonesie's submission & personal fave]
It’s “We only worship one god, there is just a lot of them.”
Of course to a mormon it 'sounds' like historica Christianity because they've been spoonfed it from their 'living' prophets and extra biblical revelations from day one. Follow the prophet and check your brain at the door. Of course the book of mormon is true - even though we don't have a clue as to where they actually 'LIVED' during those times. Sure the prophet is a 'true' prophet, even though his prophecies don't come to pass or conflict with the prophecy of a previous prophet. And the only 'real' way to translate a document is to look at a smooth stone while stuffing your head into a hat.