I'm glad you got a laugh out of something even if it was at my expense.
What's The Gospel?
You’re welcome, and thanks for your good humor. It was what I saw and learned about God in Protestant Churches that put me on the path to atheism, and it was God through the Church that brought me home, and set me free in Christ. That’s why your post brought my reply.
For me, when I think of the Gospel, it is all held in the words: “God loves you.”