IN THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR?!
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Catholics set the Jews on fire, in the American civil war
"You know... if it weren't for that comma you'd have a wild premise for an alternate history novel, or a public school education."
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IF IT WEREN'T FOR THAT COMMA
From Eats, Shoots & Leaves
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'
good for you you can read, wouldn’t want you to get confused