Divorce Rate Comparisons Between Couples Using NFP & Artificial Birth Control

HLI America ^ | 07/19/10

[Mrs. Frogjerk]

I often think about what the loss of a child would do to a family unit as a whole.

I have 3 children, and cringe at the thought of losing any of them, naturally. I would think that it would definitely leave a deep wound and that a scar would remain on the family even after the wound healed. The loss of that child would always be felt, even if the pain is in the background.

However, divorce is the family killer! I have seen that within my own family. The repercussions are endless to all family members, including the extended family. It's worse than a rock being thrown in a pound that causes a ripple effect. I equate it to a fault line under the water that moves constantly causing tsunamis. Some of the tsunamis aren't major, but there is always a huge tsunami threatening on the horizon. The pain just does not end.

[Brian Kopp DPM]

Yes, death is "natural," even the death of a child. It is within the natural order of fallen nature, but it is not intrinsically a violation of Natural Law.

But divorce is itself a grave violation of Natural Law. The temporal consequences of gravely violating Natural Law will always be more damaging to the family unit.

[Mrs. Frogjerk]

You are absolutely correct! Divorce is always ugly. Unfortunately, I get to see the awful harvest that is grown from it on a regular basis.

I do wish that people would take the Sacrament of Marriage more seriously. Failure is not an option. It is a “permanent” commitment. It is just not looked at that way. That is the root of the problem!

[IncPen]

By the way, I don't like referring to pregnancy while using NFP as a "failure." I see it as God's Will for that couple at that time in their life.

Agreed.

[WorldviewDad]

I am glad to here about the “positive” results of NFP, but I do not think that I understand the concept. Is the goal to not have a child? I have read through some of the posts in this thread and it appears that a child is equated to a failure, this does not appear to line up with “children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. Why work against God’s reward?

Like I said, I may not understand the concept...My wife and I were told we would not have children by three different doctors and after leaving it in God’s hands we now have seven, and will accept more if it is God’s will.

[Brian Kopp DPM]

If my children would literally starve if my wife were to get pregnant, it is morally licit to space children until I could afford to feed them.

NFP would be a morally licit way to achieve this necessity.

But artificial birth control is intrinsically evil. It can never be morally licit to have recourse to artificial contraception.

So to answer your question, the INTENTION in having recourse to EITHER artificial family planning OR "natural" family planning could be illicit or licit. One may be sinful, one may not.

However, the method itself, in the case of artificial birth control, is intrinsically illicit, i.e. regardless of intent is it gravely sinful.

However, NFP itself is morally neutral. It becomes morally illicit when the intention itself is illicit.

4 main reasons for having recourse to NFP.

1--Physical/ mental health---a pregnancy could kill you or so physically impair you as to prevent your fulfillment of your duties in your state in life---NOT because of a widening waste-line or drooping skin! Or psychological health, i.e., mom would literally have a nervous breakdown if she became pregnant---not because she "just couldn't stand being home with the little kids all day without the personal fulfillment of her professional job..."

2--Financial constraints---your child will starve if you have another. Wanting a bigger house or designer SUV just does not cut it!

3--work on the mission fields by one or both spouses that would preclude having children temporarily

4--active persecution or war---i.e., you or your child likely to die by coercive abortion, in concentration camp, in acts of war, etc.

Clearly we say these reasons must be SERIOUS, not trivial. Only the couple and their confessor can truly decide what truly constitutes grave reason.

We've had couples sit through my talk on this subject and literally say, "Gee, we thought we were being good Catholics just for deciding to use NFP. Now we realize we don't even have grounds for recourse to NFP," then tell us a month or two later they're pregnant.

NFP vs Contraception

Spacing children may be a desirable goal that does not violate God's laws in certain serious situations such as those outlined above. But the means of achieving the goal differ.

One is intrinsically evil (abortion, abortifacient contraception, barrier methods, sterilization) while one is morally neutral (Natural Family Planning.

In one, an act is performed (sex) but its natural outcome is artificially foiled.

In the other, no act is performed (simple abstinence during fertile times) so there IS no act, therefore the practice is morally neutral.

It is then the intention of using NFP that constitutes its relative moral licitness or illicitness.

If NFP is used in a selfish manner, it too can be sinful.

If it is used only in grave circumstances, it is not sinful.

The difference is real.

Dieting (decreasing caloric intake, the "act" of NOT eating) is a moral and responsible means of losing weight to maintain the body's health.

Bulimia (the ACT of eating, them vomiting) is rightly called an eating DISORDER.

An ACT is performed (eating in this case) and its natural outcome (nutrition) is foiled by expelling the food from the body.

Likewise contraception is a disorder. An ACT is performed (sex) and its natural outcome (procreation) is foiled by expelling the sperm or egg or both (abortifacient contraceptives) from the body.

Contraception is to NFP what Bulimia is to dieting.

But just as dieting can be misused (anorexia) so too can NFP be misused in a sinful manner

[Brian Kopp DPM]

I have read through some of the posts in this thread and it appears that a child is equated to a failure, this does not appear to line up with “children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. Why work against God’s reward?

I agree, see my post # 38. I stated,

By the way, I don't like referring to pregnancy while using NFP as a "failure." I see it as God's Will for that couple at that time in their life.

[WorldviewDad]

Thank you for your reply. I think I have a better understanding of NFP now and would agree with what you have described. I myself have never even considered “timing” things to even know when my wife would be fertile...but then again the doctors tell me she is not fertile...except for the seven children...

God bless