You remind me of a story. I used to advise politicians on media and elections. One was attempting to become the first Republican representative in history in the district. He was doing a commercial once that referred to his opponent. He wanted to say "Democrat Party" instead of what was written: "Democratic Party".
I told him to say "Democratic" because the other would be seen as an insult to them. He asked me, "Why do we care?" I answered: "Because you need their votes."
People reflexively defend when attacked. Don't start out with an attack and you might find your audience more receptive to listening to you.
I'm still baffled by how such an innocuous term can cause so much distress. If we can't talk frankly and freely on a conservative forum without being constrained by political correctness then we might as well sit down, put our head between our legs, ... and let the Leftists completely take over this country.
So I employ things like the video of the Romanist being counseled by the Calvinist therapist hoping that might wake a few people up to how they're being perceived.