Day 15 of the Noxena.
IT seems to me that about the only thing I can do to assist the humility process along, other than pray, is to think of God and to think of others MORE and to think of MOI less.
Thoughts?
I just remember the White Monkey. You know, “Don’t think of the White Monkey,” and of course, it’s impossible to NOT think of the White Monkey.
The best way for me is to forget the humility effort, and to just make a commitment, like, “I’m going to volunteer at the church office.” Even though I could do the secretary’s job a hundred times better, I put myself under her direction, and do whatever scut work she wants done, including cleaning.
Or, My mother needs help, and even though I’m not in such great shape, she figures I can drive up to see her, wait on her hand and foot, including mani-pedis in her condo, changing sheets, cleaning the shower, etc. And doing all that, cheerfully, and with love. And then taking her out to lunch where SHE wants to go.
Or, my big dog is miserable; he’s jealous of all the attention the little dying one is getting, so I make him some scrambled eggs, and groom him for twenty minutes, all the while telling him I love him. Even though my shoulder hurts, I’ve made a commitment to love him the way he needs to be loved.
The whole thing is, don’t worry about humility: study how other people/puppies see love, and provide it as much as possible. When we forget what we want, and cry alone in the night with our prayers, and never tell a soul, but go out every morning and DO SOMETHING for someone else, the way THEY want it done....that’s humility.
And if there’s nobody to help, mow my own grass, trim around the bushes and trees, wash the white fence, paint the porch, shampoo the carpet, pay the bills, clean the closet, shine the shoes.
Humility is praying for someone I despise, and asking God to bless them with everything I want: closeness to Him, plenty of money, good health, the esteem of friends, peace, delicious food, physical comfort.
I do not like humility. But I need humility. Prayers for me to do the right thing, forget the White Monkey, and just try to help without getting in the way.