Yes, I could very easily clean it up - a lot. Not necessarily making it achemedic, but more direct and clear.
You tell me. Do you think these two sentences are really greatly well written?
It's really considered to be something that has really put us, greatly, into the modern age and one of the greatest advances of modern medicine and modern times. Yet, there's this archaic church that tells us that, really, this is one of the worst inventions of mankind. According to the Church, contraception is one of the things that's plunging us into a kind of a disaster.
I know what you are saying but I still submit to you that this is conversational writing. Yes, this piece could have been cleaned up substantially and written much more succinctly with less redundancy. However, I don’t think she intended it to be that way. I felt as if she were talking directly to me, otherwise I don’t think I could have read it as quickly.
As I said, I read a lot of scholarly journals and articles.
Do you think maybe your issue is more with the subject matter or the writing? Just curious. Meanwhile, your own sentence was poorly written (e.g., “...are really greatly well written?”). If I were critiquing you, I would tell you to rewrite that sentence. Of course, on FR, it’s more about getting across our point and I’m not here to be the grammar police (I create enough of my own bad sentences and typos).