(Um. Okay, let me try:)
That is the most outrageously and thoroughly wrong and clearly malevolently intended remark I have read in my entire life - including previous incarnations.
And (Now I’m getting personal) YOU are a big fat doody-head and booger-brain!
(With apologies to Dave Barry, my personal hero.)
(How’d I do?)
Those were fair.
A valiant effort.
I’m sure some special tutoring could be arranged to tweak up your skills.
Though probably there are masters in your camp who’d be happy to assist—keeping it in house and all.
LOL.
LUB