I would also expect the child to forgive, eventually.
Forgiveness has to be genuine and cannot be turned on and off like a switch. But at some point, as the person can deal with it, it must be given.
Sometimes it needs to be worked through.
WE CAN PRAY
Lord, I’m willing.
I’m certainly willing to be made willing.
Give me your heart, Lord, Jesus.
Give me your forgiveness, Lord, Jesus.
It is, like much spiritual growth, a dance, a walk with God . . . a grace and a skill and a choice . . .
HE IS THE POSITIVE GRACIOUS ENABLER WHEN WE ARE UNABLE.
We must be willing. We must at least ask Him to make us willing—NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. ETERNITY IS AT STAKE.
I would also expect the child to forgive, eventually.
Forgiveness has to be genuine and cannot be turned on and off like a switch. But at some point, as the person can deal with it, it must be given.
Sometimes it needs to be worked through.
But it is not optional. Jesus is clear about that.
Our nature is to want to see people pay for the wrong they've done to us. I think that the reason people don't want to forgive is that they don't want to see the person getting away with something. It doesn't seem fair or right to us that someone should commit such a travesty and get away with it with no consequences.
Forgiving them simply means that we won't hold the wrong they did against us against them. We want them to acknowledge that what they did as wrong and when they don't, it hurts even worse and makes it harder to forgive. In no way does it diminish the wrong they did, even though sometimes it seems that way.
It is easier to forgive when someone acknowledges their wrongs and asks forgiveness, but even if they don't, we are still obligated to forgive.
Once again this reminds me of a post made 3 years ago by Albion Girl (who doesn’t post on the forum anymore). Not knowing how to link, I’ll have to be satisfied in offering her quote of 5-14-07, from the thread “Deliver Us From Evil”:
“I always thought it was a mistake for those molested to seek their justice with money. It takes what should be a precious wound, one from which much love and good can spring and turn it into something for sale. It is much better to rely on God to sustain you in each and every way.”
I believe I understand clearly the meaning of Albion Girl’s post.
As for children, Judith Anne; anyone can understand the rage of a parent whose child has been grossly violated. But those of us who can understand can also know that vengeance is the Lord’s and that the old law of an eye for an eye has passed away in the New Covenant.
I am reminded now of St. Maria Goretti. She was a martyr-victim of her assailant; yet history now records that the same one who killed her was present at the ceremonies on the day she was proclaimed a saint. IIRC, not only had he experienced forgiveness, but—now in his old age—had lived a life of repentence and prayer.
Perhaps it is true that Albion Girl understood things welll.