Thank you oh so very much for sharing your testimony, dearest sister in Christ, and your insights! Truly, we Christians must also suffer as part of our redemption. Thank you dear brother in Christ for your wonderful testimony and insights!
For the Scriptures say:
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with [him], that we may be also glorified together. - Romans 8:14-17
Concerning the disposition of my sins, I rely on God's perfect justice. His justice is that we each individually build the scales whereby we will be each and individually measured – weight by weight.
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. – Matthew 7:1-2
God assures the balance:
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: - Luke 6:37 Blessed [are] the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. – Matt 5:7
Forgiveness is the precondition to having our petitions granted. In the Lord's Prayer, we agree:
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. - Matt 6:12
And after giving us the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says:
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. - Matt 6:13-14
And again here:
Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive [them], and ye shall have [them]. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. – Mark 11:24-26
And I personally extend it to forgive and forget, because that is His justice for us, His adopted children:
For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. [Whereof] the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, This [is] the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
Now where remission of these [is, there is] no more offering for sin. - Hebrews 10:14-18
To God be the glory, not man, never man!