Our rector is very involved in the lives of his parishioners (at least the ones who show up more often than Christmas and Easter!) Our experience is that anybody with a special case need only ring up Monsignor and anything reasonable will be dealt with. For example, we didn't have to go to RCIA when we converted from 'high church' Anglican - we simply met several times with Monsignor and he gave us some reading and quizzed us pretty thoroughly. Since we had been working through the Church Fathers for several years, and were reading Newman's Apologia, and had even read Apostolicae Curae, Monsignor realized it would be a waste of time. Not to mention that as a dedicated pedant I would have annoyed the heck out of whoever the instructor was!
The requirements for Baptism seem quite reasonable:
A child should be baptized within the first few months after birth. We provide a baptism preparation class. You can attend that either before or after the birth of your first child. The baptismal preparation classes are held the fourth Sunday of each month (except for December) at 12:30 p.m. No sign up is required, simply show up for the hour long class. For parents and godparents whose child will be baptized at another church, a letter of attendance will be given at the class. This class does not have to be repeated for subsequent children.
We've experienced the Confirmation class and it also is very reasonable. They attend once a week for about half a year, and a class is also offered for the parents during that time (which we attended - it was interesting and informative.) My daughter reported that she learned a lot, the class was very straightforward and orthodox, there were not a lot of silly requirements. I think they did work one Saturday for the St. Vincent de Paul Society, boxing canned goods, and they had a one-day retreat.
I know that they studied very thoroughly, because our Archbishop (who was brand new at the time) catechized them live and on mike during the Confirmation . . . and every single one of the 20-odd kids answered all his questions sensibly and well (even naming lists like the Fruits of the Holy Spirit and the Ten Commandments!) He asked my daughter about her patron saint and got an earful . . . . I could have warned him not to ask open-ended questions!
Your daughter and Anoreth should have been roommates or something, except that would have been too confusing ;-).
The thing I object to most in Confirmation programs is overnight, co-ed “retreats.” Tulsa Diocese had them, and they had the usual “boys sneaking into the girls dorm” nonsense like the summer camp movies. If we’d had a child in Confirmation prep there, I’d have gone straight to the Bishop, and he’d have excused us. Great man, Bishop Slattery.
Here, they have a mandatory event to do a ropes course, of all things. I haven’t complained (except to mention in my evaluation that it has nothing to do with the Catholic Faith) because Anoreth and Bill both thought it was fun. Bill and his best friend missed most of the second, “sit around and talk” event, because they’d gone to Fayetteville with the Boy Scouts, but the coordinator excused them without argument. I think they like it better when the know-it-all students aren’t around being snide.