I’m tiny ... but fortunately no one ever went around saying I looked gay. Sounds like your husband and the other family members may have planted doubt and confusion in his mind. What a shame.
BTW his mother won't even discuss it. She won't let anyone say the word gay around her. In fact, she still thinks it's a faze, even though he is almost 50 yrs old.
He is also the oldest sibling, so I don't think his younger brothers planted a seed before they were born.
You sound as silly as my mother-in-law.