From the Vatican:
“[4] This verse may seek to show that Jesus did not work miracles to help his family and friends, as in the apocryphal gospels. Woman: a normal, polite form of address, but unattested in reference to one’s mother. Cf also John 19:26. How does your concern affect me?: literally, “What is this to me and to you?” - a Hebrew expression of either hostility (Judges 11:12; 2 Chron 35:21; 1 Kings 17:18) or denial of common interest (Hosea 14:9; 2 Kings 3:13). Cf Mark 1:24; 5:7 used by demons to Jesus. My hour has not yet come: the translation as a question (”Has not my hour now come?”), while preferable grammatically and supported by Greek Fathers, seems unlikely from a comparison with John 7:6,30. The “hour” is that of Jesus’ passion, death, resurrection, and ascension (John 13:1).”
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PXA.HTM#$3R2
מה־לי ולך
ma-li ulakh, -- what-to-me and-to-you
... of either hostility
Let's see.
Judges 11:12.
Jephte, the bastard mercenary, attempts diplomacy before fighting the Ammonites. Remember, Jephte is one who has no direct stake in the fight, he is there to gain legitimacy. So he tries a deal first: "what is it to you and to me that we fight at all?". As we know, there was no deal, Jephte pledges his daughter, wins the war and the daughter is sacrificed. Ther is a good reason for young Jesus to remember this story of a innocent dying for her nation. Pssibly, that was on His mind indeed when His Blessed Mother unwittingly set Him on the road to His sublime sacrifice. But there is no hostility to the King of Ammon in Jepthe's words, quite the opposite; it is a desire not to enter into a war.
2 Chron 35:21
Josias just finished celebrating a holocaust sacrifice as Nechao king of Egypt requests passage through his land to fight someone else. Nechao is trying diplomacy pointing out that the is hostility is against another house: "what is it to you and to me?". But the pleas for understanding is lost on Josias, who unnecessarily fights against Nechao and dies in battle. Once again, a theme of a feast and sacrifice intertwines with the theme of avoiding a war. Another Bible episode Jesus might have had on His mind at Cana. But again, "what is it to you and to me" are not words of hostility, but rather of wistful hesitation before a drama unfolds.
Lastly, 1 Kings 17:18.
A poor widow does not spare her pot to feed Elijah, who then blesses her with an ever-filling pot. Yet, later her son dies and the grieving widow accuses Elijah, who, she now supposes, comes to accuse her of her sin. "What is it to me and to thee, man of God?" Grief is palpable there, but no, there is no hostility. Elijah restores the son to life (never hesitate to ask a saint to make you whole, is the moral). We see how this episode might have weighed heavily on Jesus' mind and inspired His choice of words. But no hostility to His Holy Mother is there and obviously no hint of a rebuke.
Whoever put this "Catholic" NAB with its wretched commentary together badly needs our prayers.