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[[I still struggle with healing in regards to my own faith.]]

We all do. Some more than others- there are no TRUE miracles today- and by TRUE- I’m talking about the miracles that leave NO doubt Christ was God’s Son sent ot earth for hte salvation of man. We’re talkign about hte dead- the TRULY dead, rising fro mthe dead AFTER putrification process has started, liek several in the bible did- Restoring eyesight, Rising fro mthe dead after the crucifixion, walking on water -commanding hte sea to calm etc.

[[Still don’t know about all the miraculous healings. I’m very mistrustful of men.]]

And well you shoudl be- there are NO TRUE miracles today (note, this does NOT mean that God doesn’t still heal, He does- but as for TRUE miracles- Raising putrified dead people to life, restoring an ear (soem say it was the centurion’s head and not his ear that Peter cut off)- restoring sight, walking on water etc, do NOT happen today.

Miracles were NEEDED in the early days because the Jews were expectign a Savior, and God KNEW that when Christ came, and didn’t act accordign to the views of the Jews (They wanted a conquering King- Someone who would conquer the enemy and establish Jewish reign- God’s wil l, and Christ’s job however, was to conquer sin- not nations, and hte Jews wouldn’t accept this- ) Christ’s miracles were meant ot PROVE that He was idneed the Christ- the Son of God- His miracles left NO doubt as to His Godship, and His miracles were VERY Jewish oriented for htis very reason (There is a study of the Jewish nature of ALL of Christ’s miracles, and hte Jewish implications of htem iracles so that the Jews could NOT deny He was the Christ- very fascinating deep look into the implications of Christ’s miracles and the Jewish meanings beghhind them)

The Apostles were also given the powers of Christ while the EARLY church was beign established, to give testimony that Christ was who He said He was- Jews were still hesitent to accept the humble Christ- they still wanted their conquering king, and many infact stil lwould not accept Him even after witnessing His and hte Apostle’s Jewish specific TRUE miracles- many stil lto this day won’t accept He was the Christ, and stil lthink Christ has yet to coem to earth- howeverm, the TRUE miracles that were performed are written down by eyewitness accounts for all to plainly see.

he ability to perform miracles was NOT given to every beleiver, nor is htere any indicsation in God’s word that God charges people AFTER the apostles with hte ability to perform miracles. The ability to perform miracles- TRUE miracles ceased AFTER the early church was established, and AFTER the Jews- those who acknowledged Christ was who He said He was, join4d the church and became part of hte body of Christ.

[[He did not give me more than I could handle, and He’s used her problems wisely.]]

God ALWAYS uses every situation wisely- We may be too shortsighted to see HOW God is using situations, but He ALWAYS works for His own purposes- Just trust Him that He knows what He is doing and WHY He is doing whatever it is you are faced with.

I know htis is tough to do- beleive me I know- I’ve had a miserable life healthwise, and have had many close calls with death- more than I care to thin about- and htere are times I BEG God to just end it because I can’t take it anymore (usually this happens when I’m so down physically, that I am too down mentally to stand storng it anymore)

we don’t have to like how our lives are going, or to be cheerfully fake about how we feel, and God certainly understands- but do try to TRULY accept His will for better or worse for HIS Glory- not simply for our comfort.

your faith is stronger than you realize- the simple fact that it bothers you from time to time shows that your faith is strong- those who have little faith would simpyl give up and never have anythign to do with God again- God said the road is narrow and difficult- and few will pass through this difficult journey belevign in Him. you’re doign fine so far (and wil lcontinue to no matter how difficult things may become) :)