You are the victim of shallow catachesis, not understanding the meaning and power of the sacrements. That you rail at them and demean them shows you haven't experienced the barrenness of "reformation" Christianity.
“You are the victim of shallow catachesis, not understanding the meaning and power of the sacrements.”
Speaking for myself, I deny they are sacraments - something that imparts the grace of God by itself, apart from faith. I’m a Baptist, but as Peter put it, “Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him.”
“not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience”
It isn’t the water of baptism that saves, but the grace of God acting thru the faith of the person being baptized!