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As a former Catholic, I can understand the depth that traditions hold upon us and the deep pain in having those traditions questioned by those outside of our faith. If the questions we pose to persons of other faiths have at their core a deep concern for others and they are guided by a true love for God, then we can ask them. We must question our motives for what we do in all things, mindful always of how Christ would have conducted Himself. I am convinced that to do less is to make a mockery of what we believe and will most certainly offend those we profess to care about.

I am not sure why I feel compelled to make a point of saying this but I will make it anyway: I believe that there will be many believers in heaven who have followed the Catholic faith. It is an unquestionable teaching of the Church that Mary lived a life without sin and that she remained a virgin, despite being married to Joseph. That, however, is a teaching of the Church and is not found in scripture. Catholics, under penalty of of losing their immortal souls, must adhere to these teachings.

While I can respect the reverence for authority, I can only believe in the inerrant word of God. There are no other authorities. There are no other sources. There are no extra-biblical teachings that can add to the Truth of God's word. It is the only the word of God. It is His only message to us. It is sufficient and it is final.

The Church holds the Holy family up as an example of marriage for us to follow. Mary and Joseph had a real marriage, which most assuredly included a normal physical relationship and probably children. Why emulate a fake, hollow, unconsumated relationship? Mary was a virgin only until she gave birth to our Savior. She and Joseph would have been sinning had they withheld the normal and completely natural aspects of a true marriage. The Torah is quite explicit on marriage and the sexual aspects of those who are married. To neglect these things are in fact grounds for divorce in Judaism.

No part of Mary's genetic makeup was given to Jesus. Not one cell, not one chromosome. He was fully God and fully God's child. He was fully human by virtue of the fact that he took on flesh and blood. Here, then, lies a mystery, but it a mystery which faith demands we accept. Mary, at the tender of age of about 12-14 years of age, was “blessed among women” because she said YES to God's request. “Be it done according to Thy will.” These are the words of a young girl whose heart was so turned to God's will that she accepted without question the burden of being an unwed mother at time when death by stoning was the punishment. Blessed she was indeed. She had to know that God would carry her through an unbelievable trial and preserve her for the delivery of the most important life to have ever been born. She recognized her need of a savior in a more profound way than we can imagine. Scripture tells us she was warned in advance that a “sword would pierce her own heart” as a result of her obedience.

So, should we reverence the person of Mary? No, not the person but rather, the obedient spirit of Mary. I think she would find it strange if we did otherwise. She was remarkably humble and indeed to be emulated in many ways. What trials and heartache she suffered after saying yes to God! Her soul magnified God and her life sets an example for us to do the same. I believe she would encourage us to look always in obedience to God and to recognize the gift of salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, not through her own life. She was blessed not because she was perfect but because she was made perfect by her savior.

She was given the grace to watch her little boy grow in His earthly life in wisdom and and strength. She was blessed because at the end, she would see this most precious child, the boy she had raised, suffer the death He was to born to suffer on a cross.

How, we must ask, did she endure this horror? The only answer is that God gave her the grace and that was sufficient. For us, that poses another mystery of faith, but faith demands we must accept it.

No, Mary was not without sin while she lived on earth, otherwise we never would never have needed the sacrifice of God's only son. Mary's life of perfection would have satisfied the debt. To believe she was perfect is folly and makes a mockery of the agony and atonement of Christ.