I’m not a Mormon, but I’ve long thought the Mormons have the right idea about weddings. Make it a heavy-duty religious ritual in a temple, which nobody who isn’t Church-certified can attend, and which can’t accommodate more than small number of relatives, and which flatly refuses to accommodate garish decorations, tasteless music, a gaggle of bridesmaids in hideous dresses, and all the other crap that weddings normally feature in our society.
Yes, they have receptions afterward, and can do some of the crap there, but from what I’ve heard (haven’t been to any) it’s very, very rare for people to put on extravagant receptions with huge guest lists. And drunkenness is totally out. And “destination weddings” are totally out.
The whole point of destination weddings is start out your married life by bluntly dumping all your friends *and relatives* who either don’t have oodles of money or don’t believe in wasting it on stupid trips and parties or aren’t willing to go deeper into debt to make it appear that they have oodles of money. It’s carrying the “I’m a princess now” fantasy to the natural conclusion of “I only associate with royalty now”.
I’m not a Mormon either, but I lived in Orem, Utah for 2 and a half years in my early twenties and was invited to several wedding receptions.
I can tell you this much, while I despise all the pompous overkill that this article mocks, it is possible to spend TOO LITTLE on a wedding and that too little isn’t just money, it’s also decorum.
The worst one I went to, had only half the church gymnasium blocked off and teenage boys on the other side kept slamming their basketballs against the free-standing partition all throughout. You couldn’t tell from the dress. demeanor, decor, or food that a wedding was being celebrated.
Music, celebration, ritual, dancing, spirits (in moderation) are all ways people share joy. Just because too much is nauseating, doesn’t mean none is better.
Disclosure: My father spent $3000 for my reception in 1995. And my husband and I probably spent about $2000-2500 for everything else including my dress, church, invites, decor, my one bridesmaids, the tux rental, all the rings, photography, and our honeymoon and travel.
We also did a reverse destination wedding, where we traveled to where our families lived and got married so no one would have to travel to us.
I feel it was money well spent and don’t regret a penny of it.