I have read that in Biblical times women were expected to be virgins. If the new husband discovered his bride to be used property on their wedding night he could accuse her of fornication, and if proven, she would be stoned to death. If the husband slept with her he could no longer use that as an excuse. Deuteronomy 22:13
“I’ve always wondered what married men or women who take scripture seriously should do if their spouse are habitually abusive.”
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I have read an article about Catholic teaching on this that said, in the case of abuse, you should separate. Emphatically, you do not have to put up with abuse. But you do leave the door open that someday the person may have a change of heart and learn to behave appropriately. The possibility for God’s grace to work to convert his or her heart is still there, but you have your safety and dignity. The abusive spouse may change, God willing, or they may divorce you. But you did not break your commitment.
I have actually seen this play out. My husband’s aunt (evangelical Protestant) was married to an unfaithful, abusive man. She threw him out, and he divorced her, but she never remarried. She considered herself still married in God’s eyes. She raised her kids, taught school, lived her faith, and died at 91, having visited every continent.
God did not save her marriage; her spouse was not open to His Grace. But God did save her. Her life was full of joy and good purpose, friends and adventures. At her funeral, all kinds of people, shared about her goodness, her service to others, her perseverance in the face of difficulties.
The marital bond is between you, your spouse and God. God and Aunt Lois kept their bond, and she had a full life.
What happened at her spouse’s funeral? Who knows.
This provides interesting foundation for further study. In a trichotomous anthropology of man, in body, soul, and spirit, it is worthwhile to consider how different spiritual gifts are given to men than women. This doesn't diminish their humanity, but might be compared to a woman having a physical ability to bear children in her womb, unlike a man. Simply different compositions.
Compare how Israel is describes as Jehovah's wife, and His adulterous wife, and what was considered adulterous.
Likewise in a marriage between man and woman, made with body, soul, and spirit, can adulterate that relationship by placing others before their spouse.
Marriage isn't simply a best friends relationship.
Unchaste can have different meanings. Various sources have the meaning listed as immorality that is not necessarily limited to sexual nature. I’m not aware of the original text or if the english translation is precise.
I take them seriously, but would not stay in an abusive relationship. Leaving something like that behind is not selfishness, but a matter of survival.