Like I said, makes sense, since god is just a grumpy old guy with powers from another planet...
Teh stori ov Lehi an wife Sariah an him 4 kittehs, calld, (frum teh oldst) Laman (boos), Lemuel (hiss), Sam, an Nefi (hey, datz meh!). Happy Cat shout out 2 Lehi 2 scatz out ov Jeruzelem! ONO! GOWAY! GIT! Cuz Lehi tellz teh fyoochr 2 the kittehs boutz ther invisible error an dey go all creyzey an try keel him. Srsly! Lehi guy walkin tree daze n desert wit family. Nefi taek brudders bak 2 Jeruzelem 2 getz jewcats book (dey rly no wanna goez). No happy tiem. Brudders goed bak agin 2 getz Ishmael guy an hiz rly sooper hot dawters 2 marrie (dem brudders rly happy 2 goed bak dis tiem, gofig!). Big weddin partee, ya no!. All da kittehs go wandrin n teh desert. Sad tiemz. Cum 2 beeg waterz. Nefi's brudders sey "WHAT?!". Nefi pwnd dem an maek kool boat. Dem calld place Boutiful. Everbuddy goed on boat ovr beeg waterz 2 beeg plais wif lotz and lotz of cheezbrgrs. N udder stuffs happenz butz ai m tyard. Iz hard sratchin all dis on metal plaetz, ya no! Anywayz, ai Nefi scratchd dis, k?
1 Ai Nefi wuz burfed 2 awsum pawrentz. Dey teached meh wat dey noed. Ai seed sad stuffs, butz Happy Cat lieks meh, ya rly, ai iz so bad, an ai noed kool Ceiling Cat secritz, so ai scratchd stuffs.2 Ya rly, ai scratchd stuffs in dadcat lolspeak, itz r00t pwd uv jewcats an teh lolspeak uv gypshuns.3 Record iz trooful; Ai rited it and Ai kno from me.