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To: NYer
It was always among the first things Dan Powell wrote in e-mails to prospective dates -- that he was in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the chest down.

"It's one of those things that shouldn't matter, but does," he explained.


God bless these two. I'm glad they found happiness together, but what kind of thinking is this? Why shouldn't it matter? If the woman wanted kids, or if she were, um, excessively needy in the sexual area, or any other host of practical reasons, then such a disability would darn well matter. If differences such as penny-pinching vs. shopaholic or Catholic vs. Jewish can put strain on a marriage, then fully healthy vs. paralyzed will damn sure make a difference. I think this guy shows a bit of the politically correct attitude that says that we're all the same, even if we have to pretend. This is the same kind of attitude that causes someone in a wheelchair to go around suing every business in town for not having a wheelchair ramp, because it's their "right" to have access. Sometimes you just got to accept that life dealt you a low blow and not expect everyone else to bend over backward for you.
13 posted on 09/05/2009 4:50:52 PM PDT by fr_freak
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To: fr_freak

Let’s wish them a long happy marriage.


14 posted on 09/05/2009 4:52:34 PM PDT by Graybeard58 ( Selah.)
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To: fr_freak
God bless these two. I'm glad they found happiness together, but what kind of thinking is this? Why shouldn't it matter? If the woman wanted kids, or if she were, um, excessively needy in the sexual area, or any other host of practical reasons, then such a disability would darn well matter. If differences such as penny-pinching vs. shopaholic or Catholic vs. Jewish can put strain on a marriage, then fully healthy vs. paralyzed will damn sure make a difference.

You hit the nail on the head. It is disingenuous at least to claim "it doesn't matter". Everything matters to varying degrees. Plus it is naive to assume this woman isn't a control freak ,or to not consider all the psychological issues that may be undercurrent. Adults know that all is not always as it seems, and only children believe in fairytales. Do adults experience unconditional love? Of course but any reputable psychologist will tell you that the only healthy unconditional love is between a parent and a child. Between adults there are always conditions...and boundaries that can't be violated.

15 posted on 09/05/2009 5:03:23 PM PDT by Niteflyr ("Just because something is free doesn't mean it's good for you".)
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To: fr_freak
Sometimes you just got to accept that life dealt you a low blow and not expect everyone else to bend over backward for you.

You might not feel that way if it was you, or someone you loved, in that wheelchair! I have a friend who was severely injured in a car accident. She didn't die, but the accident ruined her life and her health. It could happen to any of us.

21 posted on 09/05/2009 6:46:34 PM PDT by pray4liberty (satisfied customer of http://www.skyangel.com)
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To: fr_freak
If the woman wanted kids...then such a disability would darn well matter.

Canon 1084 would invalidate the marriage if it was certain that either party had "antecedent and perpetual impotence to have sexual intercourse". This is not the same as sterility, which is not an impediment unless one or the other party was deceptive about it.

24 posted on 09/06/2009 3:40:34 AM PDT by cmj328 (Filibuster FOCA--a/k/a this "Health" Bill--or lose reelection)
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To: fr_freak

I know a guy who was shot in the back by a Japanese sniper in the South Pacific during WWII.

He was paralyzed from the chest down and spent his life in a wheelchair.

He married and they had a 50-year long marriage until he passed away. They loved each other dearly and he and his wife for many, many decades were among the strongest pro-life activists I have ever known.

So yeah, I do believe there’s a chance for these two to have a long, successful and happy marriage.

Ed


29 posted on 09/06/2009 12:01:14 PM PDT by Sir_Ed
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