Not being a chr*stian, I disagree vehemently with you about sola scriptura and regula fide, but these differences are small compared with the things I disagree with Catholicism and Orthodoxy about.
You yourself seem to be missing a most important point: the Catholic and Orthodox churches actually deny the total inerrancy of the Bible and the historicity of the events and people it describes because of the findings of modern "science" and the Biblical criticism of nineteenth century liberal Protestants. Whenever the church fathers and these latter things contradict each other they accept science and liberal Protestantism hands down, uniformly rejecting the right of the church fathers to pronounce on anything contrary to them. Yet they have the unmitigated gall to scold Fundamentalist Protestants for not accepting the church fathers!
Just what is it about the Six Days of Creation, Metushelach's 969 years, Noah's Flood, Jonah's great fish, or Daniel in the lion's den that threatens them so much? Why do they all but make rejection of these things a standard of their "orthodoxy" while condemning the modernity of Protestantism?
I'll never understand them, and yes, their hypocrisy infuriates me, which I am sure amuses them.
Well, there is that little matter of Jesus of Nazareth being the Messiah of Israel and God Incarnate who rose from the dead on the third day, too, but let's forget about that minor detail so we can join together to blame the errors of Wellhausen, Baur, von Harnack, and Darwin on the Pope of Rome.