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Outsourced prayer lines confuse callers [Satire alert]
Lark News ^
| Vol. 4 Issue 5
Posted on 08/18/2009 7:20:37 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: LongElegantLegs
21
posted on
08/18/2009 7:33:36 AM PDT
by
xjcsa
(And these three remain: change, hope and government. But the greatest of these is government.)
To: LongElegantLegs
>> Im-not-sure-if-this-is-satire-or-not-ping.
Personally, I’m going with “satire”. However, like all good satire, it’s close enough to believable to make you fall for it for a short time, *if* you’re jaded enough to think society has gone far enough around the bend.
Unfortunately, I happen to be just that jaded! :-)
22
posted on
08/18/2009 7:33:39 AM PDT
by
Nervous Tick
(Stop dissing drunken sailors! At least they spend their OWN money.)
To: Larry Lucido; Cagey; MotleyGirl70
Caller: I am calling and would like to confess my sins.
Operator: "You are VERY bad man."
23
posted on
08/18/2009 7:34:34 AM PDT
by
earlJam
To: Alex Murphy
This is almost s funny as the Bob and Tom bit where they have the outsourced porn line. In that one a guy with a thick Indian accent pretends he is a hot college coed.
To: xjcsa
>> I’m pretty sure Calvin grads dominate 2009 pastors draft is legit.
No. That can’t be true.
Everyone who follows the sport KNOWS the Baptists have a stronger senior class this year.
25
posted on
08/18/2009 7:35:57 AM PDT
by
Nervous Tick
(Stop dissing drunken sailors! At least they spend their OWN money.)
To: Alex Murphy
I almost...was real close...to falling for this and had my post ready that said "You can't make this stuff up!"....and then i realized you can.
Funny piece!
To: Alex Murphy
This wins the “Unclear on the Concept” award of the week.
27
posted on
08/18/2009 7:37:28 AM PDT
by
La Lydia
To: Alex Murphy
Sorry, but people who worship with a remote control in hand, deserve this kind of devotion...
28
posted on
08/18/2009 7:38:41 AM PDT
by
Dixie Yooper
(Ephesians 6:11)
To: Alex Murphy
and maybe pull the head off a stray chicken
Is that a euphamism?
If so, I can relate.
29
posted on
08/18/2009 7:39:08 AM PDT
by
SJSAMPLE
To: earlJam
90% of the merchandise in my local Mardal’s Christian store is made in China. I’m shopping for a chaplet/rosary and may have to spend a lot on-line, maybe from Ireland although in Ireland almost all the tourist trinkets were made in China. sigh.
30
posted on
08/18/2009 7:41:37 AM PDT
by
Mercat
(Scary middle aged people take to the street)
To: earlJam
To: Nervous Tick
Thanks - you areadly posted my precise assessment.
32
posted on
08/18/2009 7:44:34 AM PDT
by
VRWCTexan
(Obama-scare is the "real" Cash for Clunker Program!)
To: KarlInOhio
I am going to need you to get your Bible and reinstall your faith. < /thick Indian accent> ROFL!!! Perfect addendum to this article. :-)
33
posted on
08/18/2009 7:45:55 AM PDT
by
Liberty1970
(Democrats are not in control. God is. And Thank God for that!)
To: Alex Murphy
May all the gods bless you mightily; and, would you like super-sized slurpy with that?
Here's Homer Simpson, connected to the "prayer line"...
"Buy More, Be Happy"--THX1138
34
posted on
08/18/2009 7:48:43 AM PDT
by
LomanBill
(Animals! The DemocRats blew up the windmill with an Acorn!)
To: Responsibility2nd
35
posted on
08/18/2009 7:48:57 AM PDT
by
Niuhuru
(The internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
To: Alex Murphy
Hey people,
Forget the middle man. Get on your knees and talk directly to God. I promise, He will listen.
36
posted on
08/18/2009 7:51:10 AM PDT
by
AnnGora
(As a result of the Stimulus Bill, Napoleon has no more tots to give.)
To: Alex Murphy
State minimum pricing on all prayers after 5:00 PM weekdays and on weekends.
To: Responsibility2nd; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
May all the Mods ping you mightily.
[I know I've pinged this article before. I don't care. And yes, it's satire.]
To: Slings and Arrows
I called one of those prayer lines.
First thing the guy said, (and I’m not making this up) is, “You need to get rid of the jelly fish.”
Freaked me out!
(How did he know?)
To: Alex Murphy
40
posted on
08/18/2009 8:06:44 AM PDT
by
Attention Surplus Disorder
(What kind of organization answers the phone if you call a suicide hotline in Gaza City?)
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