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Gentlemen: I cannot go to bed tonight before I apologize to all of you. Unfortunately, my temper and my excuse of it as "righteous wrath" gets out of hand quite often. But I think this time I absolutely took the cake.

Kosta . . . of all the people I lashed out against the past few days I have wronged you most of all. My post #122 is probably the most shameful thing that's ever been posted on this forum, at least by someone who's been here as long as I have. I was angry at you and I did everything in my power to hurt you. And now that the deed has been done and I cannot untype the things I said . . . I've been ashamed of my behavior here before, but I don't think I've ever been as ashamed, or so deserved to feel that way, as I do now after having it sink it after all this time the terrible things I wrote in that post and in previous ones.

I'm studying a book on Noachide law right now, two pages a day. One of the things I read this morning was that G-d's Providence covers everything that happens to us (something I thought I knew already), the good and the bad (ditto), and even the people who interact with us. Even the people who interact with us do so providentially for our good in G-d's Good Will and instead of being angry we are to thank Him. For many years now I have said a prayer before retiring at night that begins by stating that I forgive everyone who has wronged me. What a hypocrite I have been. What damage I have done. And what a desecration of G-d's Great Name I have committed.

To ask you at this point for forgiveness for the things I have said, not only during this current debate but in the past also, seems smug and flip. To promise to never do so again, knowing my terrible temper, seems futile. But nevertheless, compelled by G-d's Commandment and my own feelings of shame and guilt, I must ask you for forgiveness and I must promise to do my best not to do this again in the future.

I ping your co-religionists here only because in my anger and bitterness I said the same terrible things about them for no other reason than that I was angry and wanted to do as much damage to you as I could. That is why I must ask their forgiveness as well.

Bdeaner . . . Mark . . . though I haven't been anything like as savage to you (hard to believe, I admit), I've nevertheless let our arguments of the past few days get way out of hand. No, I'm not changing my theological position or opinions, but please forgive me. I'm sorry. Yes, that does sound flip.

SolidWood, my apologies to you also for insulting you on the other thread (though again, I'm afraid I can't change my religious beliefs).

ET, sorry for my brusqueness with you as well.

Every so often I feel like I need to just log off Free Republic for a week or so merely for my own sanity and the sanity of my opponents there. This may be one of those times.

With G-d's help, tonight when I tell Him that I forgive everyone who has wronged me, I will try to really mean it.

Be well, all of you, and may G-d in His Infinite Power heal the wounds I have inflicted and glorify His Name which I have profaned.

ZC, forgiveness was never in question, as far as I was concerned. I just kept wondering what I have done in your eyes to deserve so much scorn. Your closing paragraphs really could not be answered with any degree of acceptable cynicism or bitter-sweet humor, and I frankly did not have it in me to try for parity, so I let it go, believing that maybe we all learned a lesson from it, for which I mustered enough frankness to thank you, even if it came across as sarcasm. It wasn't sarcasm.

I know that you think my coreligionists should hang me out to dry the way you feel they have been doing with "rednecks," but I am sure that, while they are pained to see one of their own wonder off so far in his thinking outside the box, they also know that my Orthodox upbringing left on me at least something we attribute to our faith in Christ, as our model and guide; they know that, regardless what I say, I have never renounced believing with all my heart what he stands for in our Church, and that living in imitation of his teaching is the only right thing to do. I have no doubt that one can be a Christian at heart even if he is not super religious, just as a non-observant Jew is still a Jew and can, even as an atheist, be righteous among nations and be acceptable to God.

³⁷"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ³⁸'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? ³⁹'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' ⁴⁰"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' [Matthew 25]

I harbor no ill feelings towards you, and never have, even if what you said was irritating. But I am glad that you mustered the courage and character to publicly confess what you could have done via PM, out of sight of everyone else, just as you could have asked the RM to inconspicuously remove the offensive post.

In my previous post I to you I did not remember, after all these years, a single post of yours because they did not impress me. But you did something this time which I will forever remember, in fact the only thing you ever wrote that I will have a memory of, because it was impressive and I salute you for it.

Shalom.