It's my experience that somebody who stands outside a situation with a clear eye is in a lot better position to advise than somebody who may well have similar issues bothering him or her. Same reason lawyers never represent themselves or close family (if they're smart).
I've seen marriage counselors who are bitter divorced women themselves advise women to end marriages for no better reason than their own private demons.
When I was an Episcopalian, the married priests would not give you any personal advice at all. They would just pawn you off onto a "family therapist".
On the other hand, both myself and my daughter have received valuable and wise advice from our current rector -- an old-fashioned Irish priest with 40 years under his belt, a gruff exterior and a heart of pure gold.
The competent ones are always recovering addicts themselves. Trust me, I know.
Same reason lawyers never represent themselves or close family (if they're smart).
But they do hire other lawyers. The analogy fails there, I think.
I've seen marriage counselors who are bitter divorced women themselves advise women to end marriages for no better reason than their own private demons.
That's true, but irrelevant.
an old-fashioned Irish priest with 40 years under his belt, a gruff exterior and a heart of pure gold.
He sounds like a fine man. But personally I think getting advice about sex and marriage from someone who's never personally experienced either makes about as much sense as taking driving lessons from a blind man or asking a deaf mute to explain Beethoven.
Strictly my opinion.
Their was one Catholic priest I would have taken such advice from as he'd been married for 23 years and raised 4 kids before his wife passed and he joined the Priesthood.
He was a man who's advice could be trusted as he'd been there, done that, and had the T-shirt.
I was deeply saddened at Father Ed's passing. Even though I'm not Catholic he was a man whose opinion I valued and respected, and not just about matters matrimonial.
My best to you.
L