It is not possible for a human to justly incur infinite torment as punishment for sins committed in a finite lifetime.
I don't see that as a problem at all. The reprobate choose hell; God doesn't send them there. Heaven, in some ways, would be a greater torment to them than hell is.
A old Jewish joke may make this easier to understand. There was a rather nasty man who died. He met up with an angel in the afterlife. The angel said, "Okay, heaven or hell?" The man said, "Heaven, of course!"
So the angel took him to a large, bare room. In the bare room was a long table. At the table sat many men studying Torah.
"Okay," said the angel, "here's heaven." "What?!?" said the man, "This is it? If this is heaven, I'd rather be in hell!" "Fine," said the angel, shoving him inside and closing the door, "then it's hell."
This has been something that was difficult for me as well, and the OP nails it where you live with this analogy:
Suppose for a moment that a wonderful man—Mr. Right—offers a marriage proposal to the woman he loves. "Marry me," he says, "and I will give you a life like you've never dreamed of before. You will be loved with the greatest commitment and passion that any woman has ever known. I will give you the finest house with all of the wonderful things you've ever wanted, and you will be happy for the rest of your days!"
Now suppose the woman is very flattered by the proposal, but is uncertain about whether or not she is ready for such a commitment. Asking for a few more days to think it over, Mr. Right answers, "You are welcome to take more time, but it's only fair that I warn you what will happen if you decline my generous offer. Your only option, other than spending paradise with me, is to be thrown into my underground dungeon, have your eyeballs plucked from their sockets, your fingers and toes cut off, and continually be burned with a soldering iron every hour, on the hour, for the rest of your life."
What do you suppose would be going through the young woman's mind at a time like this? I imagine that would change the way she feels about the man considerably. She might have previously accepted Mr. Right's proposal because of her love for him, but is there much chance of that now? Surely not. If she takes him seriously, she'll undoubtedly marry him, but not as much for love as out of genuine terror at the alternative.
Is this God's way of doing things? Does God want His people to turn to Him out of fear that they will be tortured otherwise? Where is the love in that? If everyone really believed in this doctrine, wouldn't that properly tarnish their concept of the Savior? I would imagine some might even have a hard time calling Him "Savior" at all. How merciful can it be to create a never-ending torture pit for everyone and then save only a few from it?