But you can't always help (or hurt) how your kids turn out.
My grandfather in law led a hellish life as a child. His mother died giving birth to him, and his father always blamed him for her death. He beat him, called him a murderer - "You murdered your mother" - and treated him so badly that he left home at age 11. Some cousins took him in, and he earned his own living doing odd jobs, worked his way through college and theology school, became a Methodist minister, and started an orphanage so that kids in his situation would have somewhere to go. I knew him late in his life, and he was a truly good man, through and through.
He told my husband when he was in his 80s that he had only recently found it in his heart to forgive his father.