Jesus left the Church as it was with his apostles......he did not leave a Bible. Our faith is based on tradition and the Bible. Catholic tradition has been to have unmarried male priests. And for good reasons. What woman can take a vow like that and be married with children?
I am a woman and a Roman Catholic. I am humble, I do not need to be a priest. I have witnessed many women in my church who have coveted it. To me it is a sin.
The priest has made a vow of poverty.......he keeps his heart, mind and soul at the disposal of God. Married men are free to become Deacons and serve admirably. Women have taken rolls as nuns and risen to Sainthood.
I sense that you are not at peace, as you are openly stating that you disagree with your Church. I would counsel you to get a spiritual adviser and work through these issues you have with your Church. The fruits of the Holy Spirit include peace...God’s peace. It is worth seeking.
God bless you on your spiritual journey. It’s a long path to follow, but we have eternity in Heaven when we get to the end. I pray we will both be there one day.
it is called the Tanach If you believe Jesus is the Word of G-d,
shalom b'SHEM Yah'shua HaMashiach Adonai
He created the Bible you for.
He preached from it.