Thank you for the thoughtful and full reply. There is much there for me to prayerfully ponder.
You'll just have to find out for yourself. I reached a point where everyone was telling me things that seemed to be prfe-fabed, scripted answers—on the surface very creidble, but underneath it much less so.
My epiphany occurred when I asked an Orthodox priest to show me where is Christ in genocidal Old Testament massacres calling for women and children to be diced to peces, and he told me I had to read more. At that point I realized they either don't know or they keep it a secret.